Monday, July 2, 2012

The Gardens of Glossolalia

Once upon a time, there was a king who spoke all languages.

Have you ever heard of the Gardens of Glossolalia? They lie about ten parasangs from the edge of the eastern desert and are in the center of a stone city that has been completely abandoned. Come, why don't we visit it together?

You wish to know why they were called the Gardens of Glossolalia, don't you? Well, the city had always been known for its beautiful hanging gardens, gardens that covered terraces and plinths and pillars and which extended for hundreds of plethra within the city. But then something happened to those within the Gardens; they began to speak in a myriad of languages, both known and unknown. Some spoke in wild tongues that none could understand.

The inhabitants of the stone city said that the "seeds of the Garden" had caught these people and they were led to the edge of the city and made to wander the desert. Eventually, as time passed, more and more inhabitants fell to this strange affliction and were forced to leave the city until finally there was no one left.

Now, of course, you and I don't believe such a story. It's a tall tale, designed to keep visitors from finding the Gardens and its treasures. I mean, people gave gifts to the Gardens, as if it was their king. They left tokens of gold and silver, tokens which could still be there. Ours for the plucking, my friend.

Ah, here we are. What a magnificent sight. And look, there is the Gardens, just as I said. Well, all the plants have died out, of course, without anyone to water them and care for them. Look, all that's left is this gray mold substance - the effect of age on stone, I suspect.

And look, here's some writing on the wall. It's written in various languages - even Latin, I see. I wonder why. Let me see if my old school lessons still work. "Rex omnes Linguae." Ah, it's a warning. It reads: "The King of All Tongues will make you speak. The King of All Tongues will make you weep. The King of All Tongues gave us the word and can take it away. The King of All Tongues sang life and sang death. Leave now before the King of All Tongues sings again."

What was that? I didn't quite hear you. I'm sorry, I don't understand. Quit fooling around. I mean it, stop talking like that. Where did you learn how to speak like that anyway?

What are you doing? Don't sit down, we have to find that treasure, we have to...what is that gray substance doing? It''s growing on you. Come on, we have to move, we have to leave this place. I was wrong. Don't just sit there and babble on.

Oh god, oh god, it's on me, too. Get it off get it off bekommen sie ab fá það burt af mér núna voi luoja se kasvaa nire azala da gauza honekin estalita åh gud ho dio Ó Istenem ela-hando-satelay-eek-condele-mosandrey-aseya-sa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-aaaaaaaaa

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